This weekend I spent quite a bit of time daydreaming and making notes about how ice Cream vans work in the thing I am messing with. Then on R4 there was a whole programme about Ice Cream vans which was nice and served to add some little details. Did you know that their chimes are tuned with small paper feathers and the sound horn is underneath the van so the sound bounces off the road? No? I didn't either.
Anyway, messing about with voices. Think this works. Think so. Maybe. Might not. health is a bit rubbish at the moment so it's a bit like writing through treacle.
'It's,' he spits out through gritted teeth, 'been dealt with.'
I smile at him and out my notebook and pen.
'If you could just give me the details of how it was dealt with then, Mr?'
Piggy eyes cloud over with confusion, caught between the wish to boast and the natural instinct not to get arrested.
'B. N. P!' he shouts.
I take a step back to escape the fragrant cloud of his body odour. He raises his arms and starts to chant.
'We are the BNP! We are the BNP!' he punches the air in time to his chant.
'We are the BNP!'
'Excuse me, sir, but you're not.'
'We are the...what?'
'As you're on your own and, I presume, not royal then, 'you are the BNP' is more correct in this instance.'
He narrows his eyes before re-starting his chant.
'You are the BNP! You are the BNP!'
I shake my head and he falters to a stop.
'No, sir. I am not. What you mean is, 'I am the BNP.'
He reaches out and offers his hand.
'Good on you, Copper.'
I give him a hard stare.
'Is there anyone else here I can talk with?'