Tuesday 29 May 2012

More WIP

I'm reasonably happy with this little bit. I've put it here so I can read it back when I become sure it's all awful. It's still first draft, so this isn't final form but I like the feeling of it, the shape it makes in my head. (Too many re uses of the same word though; wake.)




She had been inbetween, neither here nor there. Not quite awake, or even alive and now she was both; awake and alive once more. Waking here was like the transition from indoors to outdoors, the sudden sensation of the world opening up around her that let her know she was no longer liminal. Though where she was, when or how she'd got here remained a mystery. It was most disconcerting to know she had, effectively, been switched off and for all she knew centuries had passed.

3 comments:

  1. Intriguing. I like where this is going . . . I think you might squeeze more impact out of it if you start from "Waking here was like the transition . . . " but you clearly know what you're doing so you probably don't need a drive-by concrit from a peon :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. No, it's all welcome. Oddly, that was where it did start and I added the previous two lines even thought it makes it repetitive. Thanks for taking the time, I've tagged your comment onto the document for when I come back for a first edit.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm always open to alpha/beta reading and to sharing. Feel free to get in touch if you like, Mr.MartinRose@gmail[dot]com. Wherever you go with it, I wish you luck!

    ReplyDelete