Saturday 7 July 2012

The Balled of Moser-Bin-Alleycat

A long poem about a cat written in a cod 'Arabian Nights' style?  You know you want it.


The Ballad of Mooser Bin Alleycat.

Come! Gather kittens, gather queens.
Here the tale of Mooser-Bin-Alleycat (honoured be his name).
A Prince among felines, a Duke amongst cats.
Truly the best of our kind.

Hail! To Mooser-Bin-Alleycat.

Mooser-Bin-Alleycat (oh blessed are we to know him), rangy and strong,
A Lord of the city, a cat without peer,
Who faced up to the rat-king without tremble or fear.
His fur thick and ginger, his ruff white as snow,
Well muscled and sire to a hundred, or so.

Most beautiful, Mooser-Bin-Alleycat.

The rat-king a fiend, without honour, a beast
Killed kittens for fun and preyed on our least.
“No longer!” Swore Mooser-Bin-Alleycat (Oh protector of the humble).
“No longer,” he cried!
“I shall rid the world of this pest, even should I die.
No kitten shall scream, no queen will cry.”

Oh bravest! Mooser-Bin-Alleycat.

Now, now kittens wide eyed, fear not, hear my tale
Of Mooser-Bin-Alleycat (the strength in our veins), our mightiest male.
Gather close I’ll tell of a fight long and hard.
Of how Mooser-Bin-Alleycat fought the tyrant, the rat.
And how should you need, him, he will return, he’ll come back.

Let us Hail! Mooser-Bin-Alleycat

The time it was set, the challenge laid down,
“Come meet with me Rat-king,
We’ll settle who rules this town.”
And meet they did, in an alley damp and dirty.
Sharp teeth and red eyes, versus claws and our purity.

Defend us! Mooser-Bin-Alleycat.

No small talk, no preamble, they set upon one another,
The rat king a dervish of biting and terror,
Mooser-Bin-Alleycat danced into the fight,
His teeth sharp as swords, his claws quick as light,
The beast of a rat, as big as Mooser himself,
Powerful and strong, a picture of health.

Defend yourself, Mooser-Bin-Alleycat.

Up and down they ranged, clawing and biting
The whole world shook at the sound of their fighting,
Mooser-Bin-Alleycat, for kittens and queens,
Him young and strong, his claws sharp and mean,
The Rat-king realised he had now met his match
Turned tail he and ran and but The Mooser persued.

Avenge us! Mooser-Bin-Alleycat

They ran through the town, over roofs, across roads,
The Rat-king would turn and issue out goads,
“Oh lowliest feline, oh stupidest cat,
Try as you might, you will not catch this rat!”
But catch him he did.

Most Cunning! Mooser-Bin-Alleycat.

In a back street he cornered the cowering rat.
“Your time is upon you,” cried Mooser, but at that.
More rats appeared, first ten then twenty.
“Or your time upon you,” said King rat (his people are plenty).

Poor, doomed Mooser-Bin-Alleycat.

Do you cry, kittens, shed tears poor queens?
Him surrounded by rats you know what this means?
For who amongst, which brave cat could stand?
Against rats by the score, against treachery at hand?
We must pray for him, this prince of a cat,
Betrayed and caught, led into a trap.

What now of Mooser-Bin-Alleycat? (May his memory live on always.)

Surely gone he is, doomed and misled,
No honourable fight this, one-on-one like they said,
Mooser-Bin-Alleycat (may pestilence come upon those who betrayed him)
Against odds without number.

We are worthless! Without Mooser-Bin-Alleycat.

But wait! What is this? What is leaving the alley?
His ears shredded, his fur bloodied and dirty
But his head held High, so noble and strong,
His body scarred, his foes vanquished
May the gods bless us! We were wrong!

Triumphant! Mooser-Bin-Alleycat.

You may wonder, gentle kittens, pretty queens,
What became of Mooser-Bin-Alleycat (may he live long)
He is still there, he still watches, keeps us safe, prowls the alleys.
Keep us safe Mooser-Bin-Alleycat

(who is old now and really, just a teller of stories.).








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