Wednesday 5 December 2012

Ten Minute Thingy

This is a quick thing. I am feeling a bit 'not like doing the current WIP' so distracted myself with this. Allowed myself ten minutes.





The Pledge.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


...I want to thank you for electing myself and this government. I won't lie to you, there are hard decisions to be made. But remember, we are all in this together.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


Look, John, I'm sorry but with the economy how it is we're having to make cutbacks and you're one of them. I know, you've always been an exemplary employee. Talk to the MD? I'm afraid he's away at the moment, on holiday. Look, don't worry, we'll give you great references. Give my love to Susie, won't you. I really am sorry.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


Look, don't cry. It will be fine I'm sure. Fifty isn't over the hill by any means, I'll find something else. Don't worry. It will be fine.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


Yes, yes I know the mortgage payment has been late twice, no, no I'll definitely be able to make the next one. Yes, yes, I'll try and catch up but I was wondering about the penalty charge? Maybe you could? Oh, it's automatic? I see. No, I'm sorry.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.

We've got savings, a couple of bottles of wine won't hurt.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


Well go to your fucking mother's then.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


Two bottles of extra strong cider please.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


No, no bastards, they can't. Look officer, this is my house. No, I won't calm down. This is My. Fucking. House. Stop that, stop it. I'm not a criminal. Why are you cuffing me?

 
I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


No, I don't have any change. Come away from him Jack, he's fitlhy.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


I'm sure you used to live here, but if I find you in this area again I'll arrest you.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


This is our turf, you dirty old fucker, you can't fucking sleep on our benches, stinking it up. Come back to this park and I'll fucking shoot you in the knee, alright?


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.


I know where they hide their gun.


I am a rat in a bucket. You are a man with a brick.

 
You are all in this together.





2 comments:

  1. Very interesting. I like this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You improve with age, as fine wine. Good writing. Really, really good.

    ReplyDelete